Expectations vs Reality

About once or twice a month, I lead the first portion of the worship service at Redeemer Church. One part of this is the Prayer for our Needs. We pray for the folks in our church both generally and specifically, for our community, ministries, and more. This past Sunday, I included in this prayer a portion on our expectations for the Christmas gatherings and celebrations coming up. We live in a world under the curse, so it shouldn't surprise us when our gatherings of family and friends fall short of what we expected them to be. 

In all these times of getting together we may have accidents, such as knocking over the gravy boat, or we may have strained relationships with individuals we will see. Both of these are hard and try our patience. Also, we may have a bit of melancholy as we look around and think of individuals who have died or are not able to be with us.

Well, sometimes these prayers during worship are needed most by the person that prays them. This week, we came back to Sylva from visiting family and Kristy came down very sick at her stomach. No one wants that kind of reality to intrude when we have a few days at home before going to another Christmas gathering. These were supposed to be a few relaxing days at the house, plus a little last-minute shopping and preparation. This turned in to laundry, dad alone doing the final shopping and wrapping (scary), sleeping in the "guest room" (a.k.a. Lydia's spare bed), making tea and toast, etc. We had to give up on making a trifle to take to the family gathering when I saw the preparation of it was anything but trifling.

I can say that all the presents are purchased and physically here. Their wrapping may be a bit... asymmetrical but they are covered and very likely labeled correctly. Kristy is on the mend and we'll get to the gathering eventually. 

I share all this for a few reasons. First, don't think your pastors or elders are above sin. My attitude was mostly good, but certainly not perfect about all this. I so easily grow weary in serving others. I admit my own disappointment and anger over this change in circumstances. Second, this is a reminder that we'll all find expectations unmet sometime this month, and probably this very day. I encourage you to do your best to love and serve others and look for what is good and encouraging when your circumstances change.

Third, for my brothers and sisters in Christ, there is an event, a gathering one day that will exceed all our expectations. 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” - Revelation 21:3-4

Our brother, Jesus, will return one day to make all things new. No more death, mourning, crying, or pain. Forever. No more strained relationships. No more stomach bugs. I don't know if we'll be able accidentally spill the gravy boat, but it won't result in disaster and anger. And we will have the presence of our heavenly father with us. So, I encourage you to plod away today. Do your best to look back and celebrate the incarnation of Jesus, but also look ahead with hope to his coming again.

Image source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/food-summer-office-garden-6518667/

Overcome Evil With Good

We all saw the news of the pro-Trump protesters that overran the capital building yesterday. We’ve also seen the anger and strife of the past year over many political and social issues. I won’t try to enumerate all the sin and evil we’ve seen, which has come from all sides that people take. 

Instead, I've been thinking about what does a Christian do in times of strife and evil? Essentially, we do what we are always called to do: love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love our neighbor as ourselves. That second one is hard when a neighbor is on the opposite side of an issue from you. But just because it is hard doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do.

The Apostle Paul suffered much as he went on his missionary journeys, recounted in Acts and some of his epistles. Sometimes he used his Roman citizenship to call to account those persecuting them. So we can't say that his love for his neighbor meant rolling over and not seeking justice. However, let's hear what he has to say, speaking to ancient Christians (and us) about living as a Christian in ancient, pagan Rome (and now).

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:14-21 (emphasis mine)

To my brothers and sisters in Christ: we cannot overcome evil with evil, sinful means. We overcome evil with good. Paul used his Roman citizenship to pursue justice, but that is different from vengeance - actively seeking to harm someone else for a wrong done to you. I urge you, and myself, to consider  how to actively do good, even to those individuals that hate you, to overcome evil.

Image source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/action-adult-affection-eldery-339620/

Can Introverts Qualify to be Elders?

Ironically, I've thought more about this question after I was installed as an elder than before. Still, it is a fair question. Another is how could someone who is drained by social interaction serve well as an elder? We have plenty of examples in scripture of men who appear to be extroverts, such as Peter, James and John (Sons of Thunder), Paul, David, Nehemiah, and more. Looking at these, we may think introversion is hardly desirable in a leader in the church.

However, we have the confounding factor that an extrovert will stand out more than an introvert as a consequence of the behavior associated with each. The extrovert will draw more attention (and perhaps more narrative) due to their higher levels of social interaction. It is not necessarily so, but could be.

Our better guide is to look at the qualifications set out for being an elder. Let's take a look at I Timothy 3: 1-7.

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

There are many aspects of a man's life to consider in these qualifications. We can summarize most of this by saying we should look for maturity and leadership. Maturity encapsulates most of the personal morality references to being above reproach, self-controlled, gentle, etc. Essentially, is he along the road of sanctification? Leadership includes aspects such as able to teach and leading his own household.

When we look at those two major categories of maturity and leadership, neither plainly disqualify an introvert. Maturity can clearly be true of introvert or extrovert. Leadership is the same. Though an introvert may have to push through some very social situations, that doesn't eliminate leadership qualities. Of course, neither category eliminates an extrovert either! Perhaps an extrovert would have to push through being self-controlled in the time he spends socially, but the fact of being extroverted would not disqualify him.

So, based on the general categories and specifics of the qualifications for elder, the introvert may have to overcome some things and the extrovert may have to overcome some things. Neither is disqualified just by being on the introversion/extroversion continuum. Not being mature enough to press on with his duties in spite of introversion/extroversion being a barrier in a given situation would be a problem and perhaps indicate not being qualified. I think this is one of the beauties of the Presbyterian system where a church is run by multiple elders. Hopefully, elders with complimentary gifts (and weaknesses) will be found on a Session so they can encourage each other.

Image Source: photographer:☻☺ (the only name given), title: "the prayer continued," used with no modification under Creative Commons license CC BY-SA 2.0; source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/c0t0s0d0/2334183401

Re-re-reading Lord of the Rings

I recently finished reading the Lord of the Rings by Tolkien. Again. I think this is the 9th or 10th time I've read the whole thing and I've found something different each time. This round, what struck me is Tolkien's positive examples of what I will call "plodding loyalty."

Some examples are Aragorn's long labors in obscurity, Merry's pursuit of battle with the horsemen of Rohan, and Frodo's faithful pursuit of his quest without hope. My favorite is Samwise Gamgee. His deep faithfulness to Frodo sustains him through great difficulty, even into Mordor. He sees the job that must be done (the destruction of the Ring) and pursues that as forthrightly as only a hobbit can. I won't try to catalog all the examples of Sam's plodding loyalty, but I will mention his charging a citadel (seemingly) full of orcs to save his master and, in the end, carrying Frodo on the final stretch to the Cracks of Doom. 

This is quality stands out at this point in my life as I see the value of such plodding loyalty and consistency.  I have found that one of the most powerful tools we have as a parent is consistency. Consistently apply discipline, keep the rules, point to the Good, remind of Scripture, take your plate to the kitchen after dinner, and do bedtime snuggles. Their own thinking and words will wear a path through regular plodding in the same direction.

As an elder, I am grateful for the loyal plodders. They show up. Yes, we need people to lead music and worship, but we also need people to lead a small Bible study, keep the nursery, vacuum up after the kids hit the snacks, trim the bushes, or offer a cold cup of water to someone who needs it. I listened to a podcast recently where the host signed off with phrase "go do something awesome." Honestly, I'm 42 years old, have a wife and three kids, hold down an 8-5 job, drive a minivan, and I'm no longer "hep to the jive" much less awesome. Some may be called to big things, but know that far more (even elders) are called to plodding loyalty. Be encouraged that our God sees that time in the nursery, the trimmed bushes, the cup of cold water, and the two copper coins that seem so small to the world but are all you have to give.

Image Source

Imperfect Elders

I'm organizing some thoughts on being an introverted elder and am starting with one basic point.

Elders are not perfect.

When a man becomes an elder, that does not automatically confer some extra measure of spiritual strength, wisdom, or love for neighbor. It does not grant supernatural ability to overcome weakness of personality and temperament. Elders remain sinners.

And, elders who are introverts will remain introverts. Being ordained doesn't confer gregariousness. Trust me. But introversion is not necessarily an imperfection. I'll have to pick up on that thought in the future, but for now it's enough to say elders are just as much "under construction" as anyone else. 


Knowing we are not perfect, I first encourage my fellow elders to accept the fact of imperfection but not the state of imperfection. We should strive to be holy (I Peter 1:15-16) to glorify our God and be an example to the flock, our fellow sheep.

Second, I encourage all to pray for your elders. Pray we would grow in those qualities we need to fulfill our office well. Pray we would pursue holiness and have strength to push through our weaknesses.

Image Source