Beauty and Frustration

 

For about a year now, I've been trying to learn how to play the guitar. I read a while ago that performing music activates multiple parts of the brain simultaneously and could stave off things like dementia. That, plus I've been interested in learning to play for some time. The pandemic finally gave me opportunity to try it seriously. I don't take real lessons; instead I've been learning from an app/online service called Justin Guitar (which I recommend). The great thing about learning from an app and online videos is that I can go at my own pace. The bad thing about it is I go at my own pace. I'm not pushed by someone else to get better - I have to rely on my intrinsic motivation to persevere even when my fingers hurt or I feel like I'm not making progress.

After about a year, I have learned a few chords and can sort-of strum. I can't switch chords very fast and I don't know any songs. It is frustrating to try to keep doing the drills to get the physical skills down and not just play something. Still, I have to admit that I have made progress and a year ago I couldn't do what I can now.

I wanted a break from the drills, so I decided to try to learn to play an actual song. After searching around and considering it is close to Christmas (according to all the local stores anyway), I decided to learn Joy to the World.  It's been a favorite hymn and carol and, more importantly, I know all the chords for the version I found. 

This week, I made my first attempt. Now, this is the first time I've tried to play a real song AND sing along. Put simply, I stank. I may have some ability with individual skills but I struggled terribly to put it all together. I kept at it and got a little better, but ugh. No recording exists, and for good reason.

At the end of my attempts, I was dejected. I've been trying to learn this instrument for some time and it is frustrating that I seem to have so little to show. On a deeper level, I was a bit ashamed. Joy to the World, though sung at Christmas, is about the second coming of Jesus. He comes as the king (verse 1), sin is no more and the curse is undone (verse 3), and he rules the nations (verse 4). Simply, I'm a Christian and want to sing to my God of this blessed day to come. I believed I failed badly. It was frustrating to not be able to praise God well in this way.

However, I had forgotten two things. First, all our deeds, no matter how good or skillful or directed to God's glory, are like filthy rags before God. Our weak attempts at goodness and beauty can never measure up to the true perfection, righteousness, holiness, and glory of God and give him the praise he deserves. Second, God accepts our attempts at giving him glory. In the very same song I was trying to play, I was supposed to remember the "glories of his righteousness" and the "wonders of his love." If Jesus loves me, was willing to die for me, and to take on the judgment for my sins, if he accepts the two small coins of the widow, then surely he would welcome my poor attempt at singing his praise. My shame was misplaced.

So, I will keep trying to build my skill and get better. Not to gain coolness - there's no hope for that for me. I'm a middle-aged dad who drives a minivan and wears pleated khakis to work. But perhaps I can be a bit better at what I want to do: praise my savior. 

I hope this encourages you in your own plodding. Try and plod well at tasks that are good and for God's glory.

 

 

Image source: https://pixabay.com/photos/guitar-guitarist-music-756326/

The Downfall of Sauron

Today, March 25th is the day in Tolkien's Middle Earth mythology that Sauron fell due to the destruction of the Ring. It is the great, world changing eucatastrophe in the Lord of the Rings that brings light, victory, joy, freedom, and peace from the dark enslavement after war that seemed immanent. I bring this up as we are currently living through the COVID-19 pandemic. While the pandemic is the real thing, not a story, the story can help us think through our real life enemy. Both are forces that seem beyond mortals to deal with, both may lead to suffering and death, the influence of both seems to spread without check, and both lead to much fear.

What ideals does Tolkien hold up in his characters in facing such an enemy? Courage certainly. But not blind courage - courage tempered by wisdom. Gandalf, Aragorn, Frodo, and the others choose as best they can to go on fighting, but using the wisdom they have. In our day, we must listen to the wisdom of our medical professionals - wash hands, distance as we can, don't gather in large groups, etc. Doing even small things that are good has an effect.

But more important to me is to remember that evil has an end. The suffering due to COVID-19, though it brings death for many, will pass. And even more, for those of us who are in Christ, we know the end of evil and the curse on our world. To summarize the book of Revelation in two words: Jesus wins. He wins over the forces of Satan. He wins over our own rebellious, sinful hearts, he undoes the curse on our world, and brings in the new heavens and new earth. In the darkness of all sin, pain, toil, and death, even through the death of Christ on the cross, victory, grace, and peace come through in the end. His resurrection from the dead is the great eucatastrophe; victory in the face of sure defeat.

To my fellow Christians I say, be of good courage, but exercise wisdom. We need not fear, but we also need not be foolish. Even if suffering and death take us due to this, we know they must come on us sometime in our life. Our final end is still life, rest, joy, and peace. Look forward in joy and comfort, and do the good to your neighbor that you can.

To those who are not Christians, I hold out hope to you. No one is free from suffering in this life or from death. And no one is free from guilt for sin, our own moral failures. I can hold out freedom from guilt, the love of God who made you and has provided for you, and strength for your soul to walk through this life. I can hold out life after death, and rescue from the judgement to come that we all deserve. Feel free to ask, I would like to talk about nothing more than this with you.

Lies

I've been thinking recently about lies. Perhaps we don't think about it, but they are an everyday occurrence in our American culture. Have you looked at any kind of advertising lately? Claims by some local business to be the "best in the world" or other such statement are almost always false.  A department store recently had their "best sale ever." I doubt they had fact checkers look back through all records of all previous sales the store had run to make sure they could say that with accuracy.

There are also the more malicious ones. I get calls from "Microsoft Technical Support" about bad "viruses" on my computer. Somewhat related to those is robocalling and caller ID spoofing. That's where a computer calls but appears to call from a local number in your area to get you to pick up. Lying about your location doesn't encourage me to do business with you.

The problem is, these are the easy ones to see. What about the harder ones? Those are our own.

What about the time you said you would do something, with no intention of follow through? Or shaded the truth to frame a situation so you were in the best light? How about making excuses that may not be a full explanation of what happened? Blameshifting? I'm sure we can think of other ways we have lied and various lies we have told.

I encourage you to not be deceived by lies, but also to not deceive yourself. Don't think you are free of the temptation to lie. Jesus said that he is the way, the truth, and the life. Like him, we must pursue truth, even if it seems to cause us harm. Integrity and sanctification are worth it. That's one part of the temptation to lie; thinking the immediate benefit of the lie outweighs maintaining integrity. Beware, as integrity is hard to gain but quick to lose.

The Good Work

In my role as an elder in the church, there are some things I get to do and some things I have to do. Both happened recently.

A few weeks ago, my nephew was baptized and my sister asked if I would serve as the "assisting elder." The job isn't extensive. Basically, I lift the lid that covers the bowl of water; once the baptism is over, I lead a prayer for the child, family, and church. Baptism itself is a weighty thing, as the family vows to raise the child to love and serve God in order that he would come to faith in Christ. The church then vows to come alongside the family and help them in this. I'm honored my sister and brother-in-law asked me to be a part of this with their family.

In a Mirror Dimly

(Apologies to all both of my readers for a lack of posts!)

I had a beautiful experience yesterday evening. All three of my kids are taking piano lessons and my oldest is learning a version of Canon in D by Pachelbel. That piece is a favorite of mine, so I enjoy when he practices it.

But, right now he is still learning it, and is far from mastering it. He stumbles, hits many wrong notes, drops the left hand while working on the right, and the tempo is uneven. No concert hall would let him perform at this point. He himself is frustrated. You can see it on his face when he messes up and has to backtrack.

In spite of that, I loved it.

I loved it because I can hear that beautiful piece even through his fumbling and mistakes. I know what Canon in D is supposed to sound like, and even that little taste of what his effort can do brings me joy. It reminds me of the wonderful moment when I saw my bride march down the aisle toward me before we made our vows. That was nearly 20 years ago and I love her more now than in that moment, but that was the beginning. Of course I love a reminder of her and that day.

I also love it because I love him. Stephen is 13 and for fellow parents perhaps that's enough to have a sense of where he is in life right now. He is absolutely my son; introverted, computer gamer, math brain, sees issues in black and white, and sadly (for the rest of the family) has my sense of humor. He's probably going to be taller than me. And I love him dearly. Whatever he does has value to me because he is immeasurably valuable.

Our relationship with God is described in many ways, one of which is like a parent and child. We are told to pray to him as "our father in heaven." Yesterday evening, I had a glimpse of that. In spite of my fumbling, sin, and foolishness, God knows his great sovereign plan for creation and even uses my fumbling work to bring it about. He also knows me and loves me; he loves me enough to sacrifice his own son for me.

Brothers and sisters in Christ: you are loved dearly and your good works, though tarnished by our sin and foolishness in this life, do glorify your father in heaven. Plod on in the good you do now and look forward to an even better day.


For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. - I Corinthians 13:12

Plodding Habits - Prayer

Prayer is another plodding habit that will feed your soul. It works just as slowly as the others, day in and day out.

If you're not even sure where to start, I point you to the Lord's Prayer as a model to follow. Think through each part of it and expand on it. For example, when we pray, we pray to "our father in heaven." We can expand on this and think of the many other names of God and address him with those also. Lord, Savior, Father, Almighty, and so forth. When we add "hallowed be your name" we can spend time in praise of him and his greatness and thanking him for the many blessings he gives. Continue like this through the rest of the prayer. One thing you will notice is that you must spend time in praise of God, turning our attention to him rather than only asking for things.

If you prefer, you can have an even simpler structure using the ACTS acronym. That is

• Adoration - praising God for who he is
• Confession - confessing your sins and asking him to forgive you
• Thanksgiving - thanking God for his gifts, blessings, and forgiveness
• Supplication - asking God for our needs and those of others

You do not have to include every part of prayer every time.  Several years ago, I was trying to pull off a winding road in the rain and my car slid into a ditch and down a hill. I was praying, braking, and steering all together and I didn't have time to get through adoration, confession, and thanksgiving before my supplication! But, we should have time set aside to pray just like for scripture reading, so we can spend time on each part of prayer.

Another example I will share is from Nehemiah. In chapter 1, Nehemiah learns of the sad state of Jerusalem and prays extensively to God on behalf of his people. In chapter 2, the king asks Nehemiah what is troubling him. Verse 4 says Nehemiah prayed immediately after this question, then answered. I think we can assume that Nehemiah didn't run from the room, spend time going through ACTS, then return. He probably prayed something like "Lord, help me!" in his mind and then asked. Both are valid prayers, but we should cultivate both.

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Plodding Habits - Reading Good Books

This is another part of my short series on developing habits that will feed your soul.  Once you have a plan to read the Bible (the most important book to read) consider reading the many other excellent books out there to encourage you in your Christian life.

In our day, we have so many things that can district us. Netflix or a game on your phone is an easy way to fill time with entertainment. Rest and entertainment are not bad by themselves - they are good!  However, time is a non-renewable resource. We should use it wisely. Reading good books gives you a window into another's mind and perspective. This helps you see your own blind spots and find wisdom ways you would not have thought of on your own.

Below is my completely biased list of some excellent books to consider if you have never read them.

Plodding Habits - Bible Reading

As we approach Christmas and the end of the calendar year, I want to encourage those in our church and any other readers out there to adopt some habits that will feed your soul. First, consider making a plan for reading your Bible every day. This is a habit I have tried to pursue in my own life. When I stick to it, it has fed my soul and helped me see more of what God has to teach us in his Word.  I have found that the more I read through God's Word, the more I want it. God has often used passages I have read to guide me in current situations in life. We have the great privilege of abundant access to God's Word, and I encourage you to use it.

There is no one way to pursue this. Nor is there a command in Scripture that we must read part of it every day. It is not a sin to skip a day; God's love is not manipulated by your level of consistency in Scripture reading. However, we are to hide it in our hearts and we cannot do that if we do not read it.

Here are a few suggestions and resources that may help.

The Introvert Goes to a Conference

Conferences are not the natural habitat of introverts. Yes, you will find us there. We're the ones sitting or standing away from the main flow of traffic, looking through our program at what session to go to next. Of course if we came with a group, we'll gravitate toward them. We probably won't ask questions during the session but might approach the speaker afterward. 

Whether introvert or not, I'm here at a conference now.  I'm responsible to my employer (who sent me) to gain the information and training I can to do my job better. I'm responsible to contribute back to the professional community by giving a presentation or volunteering in some way (which I did not do this year). I'm told that you're supposed to network at conferences. That's one I generally fail at for some reason.

In thinking about how to be a Christian and an introvert-conference-goer, I thought about my current reading in the minor prophets, mostly from the time around the rebuilding of Jerusalem after the exile. A theme that is emphasized is that Judah went into exile because they were faithless and didn't follow God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. Those that returned were called by the prophets to faithfulness. So for my part, I will try to be faithful to my responsibility to gain what I can here. That may not include lots of new folks in my "network" but plodding loyalty is a virtue in itself. 

Image source: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1359540

Re-re-reading Lord of the Rings

I recently finished reading the Lord of the Rings by Tolkien. Again. I think this is the 9th or 10th time I've read the whole thing and I've found something different each time. This round, what struck me is Tolkien's positive examples of what I will call "plodding loyalty."

Some examples are Aragorn's long labors in obscurity, Merry's pursuit of battle with the horsemen of Rohan, and Frodo's faithful pursuit of his quest without hope. My favorite is Samwise Gamgee. His deep faithfulness to Frodo sustains him through great difficulty, even into Mordor. He sees the job that must be done (the destruction of the Ring) and pursues that as forthrightly as only a hobbit can. I won't try to catalog all the examples of Sam's plodding loyalty, but I will mention his charging a citadel (seemingly) full of orcs to save his master and, in the end, carrying Frodo on the final stretch to the Cracks of Doom. 

This is quality stands out at this point in my life as I see the value of such plodding loyalty and consistency.  I have found that one of the most powerful tools we have as a parent is consistency. Consistently apply discipline, keep the rules, point to the Good, remind of Scripture, take your plate to the kitchen after dinner, and do bedtime snuggles. Their own thinking and words will wear a path through regular plodding in the same direction.

As an elder, I am grateful for the loyal plodders. They show up. Yes, we need people to lead music and worship, but we also need people to lead a small Bible study, keep the nursery, vacuum up after the kids hit the snacks, trim the bushes, or offer a cold cup of water to someone who needs it. I listened to a podcast recently where the host signed off with phrase "go do something awesome." Honestly, I'm 42 years old, have a wife and three kids, hold down an 8-5 job, drive a minivan, and I'm no longer "hep to the jive" much less awesome. Some may be called to big things, but know that far more (even elders) are called to plodding loyalty. Be encouraged that our God sees that time in the nursery, the trimmed bushes, the cup of cold water, and the two copper coins that seem so small to the world but are all you have to give.

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