Expectations vs Reality

About once or twice a month, I lead the first portion of the worship service at Redeemer Church. One part of this is the Prayer for our Needs. We pray for the folks in our church both generally and specifically, for our community, ministries, and more. This past Sunday, I included in this prayer a portion on our expectations for the Christmas gatherings and celebrations coming up. We live in a world under the curse, so it shouldn't surprise us when our gatherings of family and friends fall short of what we expected them to be. 

In all these times of getting together we may have accidents, such as knocking over the gravy boat, or we may have strained relationships with individuals we will see. Both of these are hard and try our patience. Also, we may have a bit of melancholy as we look around and think of individuals who have died or are not able to be with us.

Well, sometimes these prayers during worship are needed most by the person that prays them. This week, we came back to Sylva from visiting family and Kristy came down very sick at her stomach. No one wants that kind of reality to intrude when we have a few days at home before going to another Christmas gathering. These were supposed to be a few relaxing days at the house, plus a little last-minute shopping and preparation. This turned in to laundry, dad alone doing the final shopping and wrapping (scary), sleeping in the "guest room" (a.k.a. Lydia's spare bed), making tea and toast, etc. We had to give up on making a trifle to take to the family gathering when I saw the preparation of it was anything but trifling.

I can say that all the presents are purchased and physically here. Their wrapping may be a bit... asymmetrical but they are covered and very likely labeled correctly. Kristy is on the mend and we'll get to the gathering eventually. 

I share all this for a few reasons. First, don't think your pastors or elders are above sin. My attitude was mostly good, but certainly not perfect about all this. I so easily grow weary in serving others. I admit my own disappointment and anger over this change in circumstances. Second, this is a reminder that we'll all find expectations unmet sometime this month, and probably this very day. I encourage you to do your best to love and serve others and look for what is good and encouraging when your circumstances change.

Third, for my brothers and sisters in Christ, there is an event, a gathering one day that will exceed all our expectations. 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” - Revelation 21:3-4

Our brother, Jesus, will return one day to make all things new. No more death, mourning, crying, or pain. Forever. No more strained relationships. No more stomach bugs. I don't know if we'll be able accidentally spill the gravy boat, but it won't result in disaster and anger. And we will have the presence of our heavenly father with us. So, I encourage you to plod away today. Do your best to look back and celebrate the incarnation of Jesus, but also look ahead with hope to his coming again.

Image source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/food-summer-office-garden-6518667/

The Good Work

In my role as an elder in the church, there are some things I get to do and some things I have to do. Both happened recently.

A few weeks ago, my nephew was baptized and my sister asked if I would serve as the "assisting elder." The job isn't extensive. Basically, I lift the lid that covers the bowl of water; once the baptism is over, I lead a prayer for the child, family, and church. Baptism itself is a weighty thing, as the family vows to raise the child to love and serve God in order that he would come to faith in Christ. The church then vows to come alongside the family and help them in this. I'm honored my sister and brother-in-law asked me to be a part of this with their family.

Can Introverts Qualify to be Elders?

Ironically, I've thought more about this question after I was installed as an elder than before. Still, it is a fair question. Another is how could someone who is drained by social interaction serve well as an elder? We have plenty of examples in scripture of men who appear to be extroverts, such as Peter, James and John (Sons of Thunder), Paul, David, Nehemiah, and more. Looking at these, we may think introversion is hardly desirable in a leader in the church.

However, we have the confounding factor that an extrovert will stand out more than an introvert as a consequence of the behavior associated with each. The extrovert will draw more attention (and perhaps more narrative) due to their higher levels of social interaction. It is not necessarily so, but could be.

Our better guide is to look at the qualifications set out for being an elder. Let's take a look at I Timothy 3: 1-7.

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

There are many aspects of a man's life to consider in these qualifications. We can summarize most of this by saying we should look for maturity and leadership. Maturity encapsulates most of the personal morality references to being above reproach, self-controlled, gentle, etc. Essentially, is he along the road of sanctification? Leadership includes aspects such as able to teach and leading his own household.

When we look at those two major categories of maturity and leadership, neither plainly disqualify an introvert. Maturity can clearly be true of introvert or extrovert. Leadership is the same. Though an introvert may have to push through some very social situations, that doesn't eliminate leadership qualities. Of course, neither category eliminates an extrovert either! Perhaps an extrovert would have to push through being self-controlled in the time he spends socially, but the fact of being extroverted would not disqualify him.

So, based on the general categories and specifics of the qualifications for elder, the introvert may have to overcome some things and the extrovert may have to overcome some things. Neither is disqualified just by being on the introversion/extroversion continuum. Not being mature enough to press on with his duties in spite of introversion/extroversion being a barrier in a given situation would be a problem and perhaps indicate not being qualified. I think this is one of the beauties of the Presbyterian system where a church is run by multiple elders. Hopefully, elders with complimentary gifts (and weaknesses) will be found on a Session so they can encourage each other.

Image Source: photographer:☻☺ (the only name given), title: "the prayer continued," used with no modification under Creative Commons license CC BY-SA 2.0; source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/c0t0s0d0/2334183401

The Weight of Leading Worship

For most of my life, things at church just happened. That is, events are scheduled and I just show up and participate. Having been part of a church plant, and now a young church, I've learned that there are people doing the planning and preparation to make those things happen. For example, weekly worship on Sunday.

At Redeemer Church, we organize worship in two halves. The first half includes the call to worship, prayer, a hymn, first scripture reading, a corporate confession of sin, assurance of pardon, prayer for our needs, and another hymn or two. This part is led by one of the ruling elders (usually). The second half including the second scripture reading, sermon, Lord's Supper, final hymn, and benediction, and is led by our pastor or a guest pastor.

Even when I was young I had some notion that pastors prepared their sermon each week. However, I didn't think much about making the rest of the worship service happen. Now, as a ruling elder, I have to prepare to lead the first half about once a month. There is a two-part burden to this. One is the preparation, which for me is reading things out loud until I can read it clearly, and preparing notes for what to say and how to pray. The second burden is heavier - the act of leading others in worship.

Other elders may experience this differently. For me, it feels like a weight on my heart to go up to the pulpit and lead our congregation through worship. It's not fear of public speaking, which grad school trained out of me. The weight is more about the sense of coming before God and leading others in such a high and significant task. It is made worse knowing I myself am a sinner, in need of grace, and of no particular worth in myself to justify standing before others in such a place. For me, I try to use that weight or burden as I lead worship to convey the seriousness of what we're doing.

I also admit to thinking about the incident of Nadab and Abihu every now and then when going up the stairs to the pulpit.

But for all that weight, it is a deep joy to be a part of leading worship, to point others to our infinite, eternal, and unchangeable God, and to help make worship "just happen" for others.

Imperfect Elders

I'm organizing some thoughts on being an introverted elder and am starting with one basic point.

Elders are not perfect.

When a man becomes an elder, that does not automatically confer some extra measure of spiritual strength, wisdom, or love for neighbor. It does not grant supernatural ability to overcome weakness of personality and temperament. Elders remain sinners.

And, elders who are introverts will remain introverts. Being ordained doesn't confer gregariousness. Trust me. But introversion is not necessarily an imperfection. I'll have to pick up on that thought in the future, but for now it's enough to say elders are just as much "under construction" as anyone else. 


Knowing we are not perfect, I first encourage my fellow elders to accept the fact of imperfection but not the state of imperfection. We should strive to be holy (I Peter 1:15-16) to glorify our God and be an example to the flock, our fellow sheep.

Second, I encourage all to pray for your elders. Pray we would grow in those qualities we need to fulfill our office well. Pray we would pursue holiness and have strength to push through our weaknesses.

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